Draft_17th March


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Bismillah.
Only Allah knows how nervous I am lately. Only He, who knows how difficult it is for me to sleep at night these days. This is all happening because of the announcement that the Ministry of Education made last Friday regarding the SPM 2012 result which will be out this Thurday, 21st March 2013. Phew *mengelap peluh*

I wasn’t 100%  prepared for the SPM which I had taken November last year. Truth to be told, I only made the revisions for each subjects exactly 3 to 4 days before the day of the exam. Some of the subjects yang aku dah macam konon ‘confident’ with myself tu, mungkin boleh kata 2-3 days before the exam itself kot. Wallahu’alam. Allah sahaja yang tahu betapa degilnya aku yang sungguh berat tulang untuk belajar elok-elok untuk satu peperiksaan besar yang boleh dikatakan penentu masa depan aku kelak.

This is surely not a ‘I’m-proud-of-myself-for-having-the-guts-to-do-a-suicidal-attempt-of-flunking-my-own-papers’ confession or anything okay people. Not bragging (of my own silly wrongdoing), just trying to reminisce my own foolishness L I am a bad girl. Nonetheless, people keep on saying that I’m not. Hahaha seriously, siapa yang rapat dengan aku tahu lah betapa banyaknya flaws aku. Hello? Everybody has their own flaws and mistakes that we surely want to hide from the public view kan? It’s common sense, people. Everybody wants to present the best of ourselves regardless of how mountainous our own flaws and mistakes are. By ‘pretending’/’acting’ to be good (yup, we are all actors, acting on this land as the servants of His), we’ll learn to be better sebetul-betulnya.
Perangai buruk seorang pelajar yang aku ada ni memang aku naaak ubah sebab aku tahu, that won’t do me any good if being practised for as long as this girl is wearing the ‘STUDENT’ title on her head. Jadinya, aku berdoa kepada Tuhan semoga aku akan sentiasa buat corrections kat diri aku ni. As quoted from Hlovate,
“You’ll never reach perfection because there’s always room for improvement. Yet all the way to perfection, you’ll learn to get better.”

Walk the talk, please?
Insya-Allah!

Praying to God for Him to give me the feeling of acceptance once the very awaited paper is in my hands, I really hope that these eyes of mine will only shed tears of happiness on the momentous Thursday soon. I want to make my parents proud of myself very badly and for myself to pat my own back, saying that after all the hardships that He put me through, I can somehow survive the wounds of the heartaches that I suffered throughout the year. Saying that what Allah has promised is indeed the truest word that I can rely on.

With every hardship, there is relief.

I silently hope that the very next post I’m going to write on is about getting the best result for me although it’s not 10A+ for me.  Cheers!


PS/ Encik Muhammad Amer Iskandar mesti jadi best student punya! Huh, jealous sungguh.
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