Ibu, Angah Loves You
She didn't agree with my wish of pursuing my studies abroad when I first told her about it. She just knew (and still knows) that I wouldn't bear living thousands of kilometers away from the family, especially her. You're right ibu, I would never stand living so far away from you.
Nonetheless, if I were to study here in Malaysia, I would still feel homesick anyway. It is of no difference; whether living in the UK (haaaaa insyaAllah kalau dapat good news esok!) or here. I will still be the 'homesick me'.
I was once wounded by the words of a very significant person in my life, he told me that he didn't want me to turn into a 'bad me' if I were to study at the other side of the Earth. Ibu was the one who consoled me, telling me that he just didn't understand the (burning) desire in my heart to go there.
''Risaukan angah, sebab tu ..... cakap macam tu.''
I couldn't say anything good at that time (because my brain was so furious hence experiencing a massive 'traffic congestion' for a few minutes) and I just said,
''Ibu, nak peluk ibu..." with tears streaming down my face.
The tough woman standing in front of me at that time burst into tears as well when she brought me into her arms.
:'(
She just hugged and pacified me in her embrace of love, assuring her only daughter that she will always be near no matter what.
Though reluctant to let me go (soon), she knows that she has to do so in order for me to catch my dreams.
(If I can travel university-home every day, I would surely do that haha!)
I really want to teach myself on how to be tougher-physically and emotionally, come hell or high water. I am now a bigger girl who is about to begin on a long journey of life, by herself. To stand firm on my own two feet is my aim from now on. And to make my ibu and ayah proud of me is another story.
There was this one article that caught my attention entitled 'Segar sepanjang penerbangan' which I came across while ignorantly flipping through the pages of the newspaper, merely looking at the pictures (but not the words). I read the article anyway despite my laziness to really ponder upon the important points the writer was trying to convey.
Done! Malas nak salin balik dalam buku ke apa. Baca gitu pun cukup lah, ingat kut dalam kepala.
On the very same day but at different time, ibu told me about the article. I just said to her that I've read it. She insisted on me to re-read it just as to digest the whole points again.
"Haa, entah entah kan, kita jumpa artikel ni sebab angah nak dapat pergi sana takkk?!"
I couldn't hide my excitement that I searched for the piece of paper again and started re-reading it. It was just because of the doa (setiap perkataan seorang ibu itu kan doa?) that came out of her mouth.
From this, I come to the realization that, even though it is going to hurt her, letting me go abroad to pursue my dreams, she still supports me. Because she knows of how badly I want to go there (sampai setiap bulan duk sebut-sebut pasal itu dan ini berkenaan hal yang tersebut).
But it will hurt me too, I just know it will.
Nonetheless, if I were to study here in Malaysia, I would still feel homesick anyway. It is of no difference; whether living in the UK (haaaaa insyaAllah kalau dapat good news esok!) or here. I will still be the 'homesick me'.
*
''Risaukan angah, sebab tu ..... cakap macam tu.''
I couldn't say anything good at that time (because my brain was so furious hence experiencing a massive 'traffic congestion' for a few minutes) and I just said,
''Ibu, nak peluk ibu..." with tears streaming down my face.
The tough woman standing in front of me at that time burst into tears as well when she brought me into her arms.
:'(
She just hugged and pacified me in her embrace of love, assuring her only daughter that she will always be near no matter what.
*
Though reluctant to let me go (soon), she knows that she has to do so in order for me to catch my dreams.
(If I can travel university-home every day, I would surely do that haha!)
I really want to teach myself on how to be tougher-physically and emotionally, come hell or high water. I am now a bigger girl who is about to begin on a long journey of life, by herself. To stand firm on my own two feet is my aim from now on. And to make my ibu and ayah proud of me is another story.
There was this one article that caught my attention entitled 'Segar sepanjang penerbangan' which I came across while ignorantly flipping through the pages of the newspaper, merely looking at the pictures (but not the words). I read the article anyway despite my laziness to really ponder upon the important points the writer was trying to convey.
Done! Malas nak salin balik dalam buku ke apa. Baca gitu pun cukup lah, ingat kut dalam kepala.
On the very same day but at different time, ibu told me about the article. I just said to her that I've read it. She insisted on me to re-read it just as to digest the whole points again.
"Haa, entah entah kan, kita jumpa artikel ni sebab angah nak dapat pergi sana takkk?!"
I couldn't hide my excitement that I searched for the piece of paper again and started re-reading it. It was just because of the doa (setiap perkataan seorang ibu itu kan doa?) that came out of her mouth.
From this, I come to the realization that, even though it is going to hurt her, letting me go abroad to pursue my dreams, she still supports me. Because she knows of how badly I want to go there (sampai setiap bulan duk sebut-sebut pasal itu dan ini berkenaan hal yang tersebut).
But it will hurt me too, I just know it will.
I know that I am a very hard-headed girl, claiming that she knows the world better than you do and with this I admit that I am wrong.
You were the woman who fought for me by putting your life at stake, only to make sure that I would be safely born. You were the one who fed me with lullabies, laughter and joy. You will always embellish my days with your greatest art; the love towards us.
If I were to have all the wealth in this world, God knows that I can never pay off my debts to you. I want to say sorry for
every heartbreak that I caused,
every tear that trickled down your face,
every worry in your heart,
every sweat that was shed,
every scar that would never disappear,
every kindness that was returned by harsh words,
everything.
I thank Allah for giving me the chance of knowing and loving you, Puan Hamidah binti Mohd Salleh during this short period of living on Earth.
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