The Journey: 1 - To Strive?

 A rare scenery in my KMS room

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

The caption of the photo says it all. I rarely stay up now. It's rather sad to think of the inability to stay fresh at midnight with the table lamp (half-)lighting the bed.

But once Allah allows these eyes to stay open at 2 or 3am just to finish off the works that are always piling up, I feel so grateful that the body is given extraordinary strength to stay energised. Of course, with the help of caffeine, I managed to force myself to stay awake and continue doing the work. I admit that this habit is not that healthy to be practised, but what's wrong with some booster ey?

People might comment on the 'on-the-go' nature of Amalina J but they haven't seen the lousy side of me yet - to which I choose to keep to myself for I don't want to reveal anything that's bad and not worth a story. There will be times when I choose to be a plankton and get affected with all the negative happenings that may disrupt my mood. I can even be a log for a whole day if I want to. *sigh*

I cannot deny the fact that with time, the problems around me become clearer and increasingly unavoidable. I have never expected of encountering serious problems that might need my time and energy to solve them at this age (BUT HEY YOU'RE 20 FOR GOD'S SAKE!). In my head, there was only one pathway for me to walk along:

FINISH SPM - COMPLETE THE DEGREE STUDIES - WORK - GET MARRIED - MASTERS - CHILDREN - RETIRE - BE A GRANDMA -  INNALILLAHI WAINNA ILAIHI RAJI'UN


I was too naive to think beyond my capabilities that I chose to limit my imagination. Now that I have met so many faces, dealt with so many behaviours, laughed at so many jokes, cried of too many bruises, I can now say that I am up for more things in the future biiznillah. Be it drizzles or thunderstorms, I want to taste the rainbow once the sun shines brightly above my head afterwards.

Realising the fact that I am born into this world not to serve myself but the God, I must expect turbulent to be my everyday meal. The state of being unusually exhausted and extraordinarily jovial or sad, those are all tests to qualify me as a muslim to be a mu'min.

As muslim & mu'min are two different things.


*Sorry that I skipped writing for 2 weekends. The first weekend was quite occupied with the last things to settle before the muktamar (woot muktamar woot) and for the 2nd weekend: I just got back from kampung for Pak Ndak's wedding reception.*

(the change of mood and tone is too abrupt I know. sorry okay?)