Her Waffle

Lately, I am having some kind of moods battle in here. At times I am on top of the world, and sometimes I'd be buried deeply inside the ground till nobody can hear me yelling to get some help, but Him :') Oh yes, I can only say that I am truly grateful because I am one of the people that He chose to just have the faith that no matter what, (come hell or high water) He'll always be here for me. For sure, nobody can beat Him in making me spellbound. Bukanlah baru tersedar pasal fakta yang satu tu, tapi saya ni mudah sangat lupa. Dan bila terjadi satu-satu kejadian yang sampai boleh buat rasa tak senang di dalam, baru perasan, yang saya tak ada best friend nak confide in, tak ada boyfriend (errrrr) nak bercerita, tak ada orang yang saya rasa boleh baca fikiran saya; pokoknya tak ada sesiapa yang boleh bagi reply yang macam saya inginkan (yes, I am demanding). Of course ada ibu yang memang tersangat faham anak perempuan dia yang satu ni, tapi, masih ada keseganan dalam diri...

I still keep the cute lil notes given to me by the Form 5 sisters at that time (Form 1: 2008: KUSESS). Having known the fact that I might not have the chance to meet them again in the future, I gave them 'bunga plastik' with some candies as they had been so nice to me as kakak pantun back then. Didn't expect to be that close anyway. Oh yes, I surely miss them. And there is this one note given by Kak Mira which I like the most (not that I don't like the others' but her message in it that makes me want to cry right here right now). Oh, yes, I remember that the changing notes session was during Ramadhan/Raya that year. Eh, kejap eh, want to go get the note kejap.  * To:  AMALINA Selamat Hari Raya ~wish you Slamat Ari Raye ~ enjoy la raye sepuas2 nyer sblm awak jd F5 ~good luck 4 ur future undertakings ~exam nnt wat btul2 ~kte minta maaf klu ade slah silap ~GO 4 PANTUN!! Yours sincerely, Kak Mira * The bold one makes me wa...

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows while you know not. [Al-Baqarah: 216] * I don't know why (very lately) I tend to restrain myself from meeting people. Be it in this house of mine or outside. Maybe it is because of the way people treat each other that makes me go sick, believe it or not. I am a human being too. I am not excluded from having the left side angel who would constantly jot down my misdemeanors. So it is not an impossible thing that I have done anything wrong towards anybody on Earth. Pardon me, if I have ever done wrong things towards you, okay? Maybe I wrote some crappy things in this blog which don't benefit you at all and such, sorry.  Like I recently told myself; don't expect things from people. You might get disappointed then. Because you see, people are made of constantly changing heart (read: qalb) which could always go against ourselves. As in, hari ni y...

After having a chat with a friend on the idea of pursuing the studies abroad, I felt somewhat thrilled to start a new spirit in this little heart of mind. I have always been in this kind of phase; being encouraged by others' achievement but somehow it would last for a very short time. I need lots of encouragement you see? As I am a kiddo who is constantly being tempted by the worldly unimportant things. Istiqomah, I surely need this one essence to complete my life as a good student. What I can do is just pray to Allah that He may bestow upon me strength in surviving this ever challenging life and somehow by hook or by crook, CHANGE myself into a better person inside and out. I just have to make a small change to see a big difference at the end of the day, hmm? I wish I could attain what's always been my dream; being a better Amalina, every day. Allah has said, He won't change our condition if we don't start making changes to ourselves. I have always hold onto His sa...

Sometimes, when it's so hard that you feel like breaking apart, you just have to remind yourself that there are more people who suffer harder challenges in life than you do. . Allah still loves me I guess, that He doesn't allow me to give up on this one subject that I am taking at school. This morning, my teacher called me and asked me to sit in front of her. She noticed that I left so many questions unanswered whilst they should be answered, for the sake of my well-being (hahahaa). Yes, I've made a statement that I hate the subject that I want to ignore it. And now, I regret of what I've told myself, really. :( Mmm, bad bad Amal ey?  I never thought that Allah would show me the signal that I still have the chance to better myself in anything. And the scene of my teacher calling me to ask me to solve the questions in front of her is one of the signs that I can't give up on anything, especially myself . I don't know, this seems pretty normal-and-not-int...