Her Waffle

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. When I told myself that it won't really matter if I got excellent results or not as Allah knows what's best, I truly had no idea of how failure would affect my emotions, my faith. As He has always given me the ease in almost everything that I do in life so far, I never had the chance of experiencing the real feeling of frustration. Yes, never. So when I laid my eyes on my laptop screen the other day, I felt numb. The not so beautiful grades that danced before me froze the time. Everything came to a halt. I remember that when my room-mate asked about the results, I just smiled and said "Alhamdulillah, tapi tak ada A pun..". I couldn't believe my eyes that I expected for at least an A to pop out and replace its friends that bugged my view at that time. I just walked out of the room, holding the phone in my hands and started to dial ayah's number. I immediately broke the news to ayah that I have to re-sit for all papers next June...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. * I know that I shouldn't be associating an update here with the end of AS trial today but I couldn't escape from that fact, really. Ohhho so yes, alhamdulillah He eases every thing for me during the exam week now that I can heave a sigh of relief...temporarily..only. The countdown to the real AS on my phone is a perfect way to remind myself that whatever it is, the clock will not stop ticking and will probably just leave me if I were to be amazed with the momentary pleasure it brings. So here goes the usual update once I can find some time to be in front of the screen, typing the words of my mind. * A mask which I put on now shall not be the truth for the people's eyes. But somehow, I am compelled to remain veiled, beneath the most beautiful mask I could ever find so that I will, be the best person I can ever be. So that I shall be the person who Allah wants me to be. It's inevitable to look at the past that it was indeed quite ...

Bismillahirahmanirrahim. The unexpected disappearance of the plane MH370 brought me into thinking of the possibilities of anything to happen with His will. We often forget of His power to control everything that we put things in the hands of science and technology. We are humans, we forget. Tests. He puts a halt to the rain and brings the ghostly haze in. My nose couldn't smell anything but smoke these few days. That showed how critical the situation was for people in Malaysia. Patience is in need at this moment. We cannot afford to receive more whines coming from the irresponsible mouths. The ultimate solution is to seek for His help, search for His answers that lie within the Book. May these events have an impact in our hearts that we take a moment of our day to start pondering on our mistakes, the sins that we've done all this while. Afterall, Allah will never create unnecessary things in this world. Every calamity has its blessings and He's reaching out to us....

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. It rained this evening, after a long month not seeing the sky cries. Alhamdulillah. I've been longing to smell that one particular odour of imminent rain as well as the refreshing odour of post-rain. Allah grants my prayer last night, He makes me experience those beauties again, today. The worry started when I noticed the colour of the grass turned to lifeless yellow. Each time I see this view, my heart stopped. My thoughts immediately diverted into thinking of the future catastrophe that might struck us. The absence of water and the scorching heat would certainly kill me inside. It's true when people say, "You won't miss the water till the well runs dry". It's our norm, I daresay. We'd only appreciate our necessities only when they're being grabbed away from us. We'd only be grateful and bow down to Him when His anger causes us adversity when the spirit is at the lowest of the lowest. There are underlying meanings...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. We had mentor mentee session this evening and the discussion was mainly about our final exam results for the 1st semester. I admit that we did quite badly and that we didn't make full use of the potential that we already have within ourselves. Hence, the consequences - bad grades. Miss Nina is my mentor and she's very dear to us. In fact, deep in my heart, I have regarded her as my 'mother'. Well, every female teacher who teaches me here is indeed my other mother. I just love them. Ehem, okay I digress. The first day of our 2nd semester brought painful memories - being warned by the teachers that if we stay the same 'us', we might not fly at the end of A-level. Can you imagine how hurtful is that? To hear a heavy statement coming from the teachers themselves. My heart was crushed - our hearts were rushed, to pieces. The results are as if telling everybody that we didn't learn anything since we came here. Yes, it is THAT seri...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Alhamdulillah, I passed the driving test today. The 4th attempt, and with Allah's will, I passed. Ibu cried when I called her to inform the joyous news! Haruslah. 4 kali, kalau gagal lagi memang aish. The story behind the picture. Ibu asked me whether I've called Along to tell him that I've passed the test to which I said no. Then I immediately sent him the above message - merely to goof around. But surprisingly....in exactly 1 minute interval, HE CALLED ME! All the way from Jengka, while having his evening jog.  Ahahaha I know I'm a bad sister. Alhamdulillah that he didn't get heart attack for that *phew* But I feel touched because...   Along, angah memain je lah! Saje nak bagitau angah dah lulus JPJ. Laahhh yeke...   Kenapa kalau betul? *evil laugh* Along balik sekarang jugak! *speechless*

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. How college life is treating me so far, you ask? I don't know how to answer that question for it's quite subjective you see. There are two sides of a coin but my life has more than that. Getting 11 points for the final exam for the 1st semester is quite surprising (but alhamdulillah in a good way) because I thought it would be easy peasy to get full points. Ha. Ha. You wish! Ironically for TESL & Linguistic students of KMS, it would be quite impossible to get an A for English even though that's the core subject that we'll be pursuing in the university soon. My English teacher even said that people prefer Mathematics than language because of the complexity of this field. *sigh* When I was in high school, I thought English was the easiest thing to do (no, bukan berniat untuk riak) if compared to other subjects. English has always been fun, the teachers are always bizarrely good and that makes me love English more. Biology needs me to re...