Her Waffle

My dearest Suami, Thank you for taking me as your wife on the 7th of Shawal (28 April 2023), 6 months ago. Thank you for being my closest companion for the past 6 months.  For sharing my sunshine and rain. For wiping my tears. For chasing my sadness away with your embrace. I pray that God bless us together in great joy, loving each other only for His sake, in this world and most importantly in the next. I look forward to enjoying more wonderful moments with you, growing towards goodness and learning how to become better servants of God together, insyaAllah. I love you now and always, sayangku! Hold my hand till the end, forevermore. Okay?  Forever yours truly, Amal comel ihiks

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I'm writing this entry from the comfort of my bedroom in Manchester, enjoying the 3rd day of Ramadhan 1441H amidst a pandemic lockdown. It is no doubt a totally strange experience altogether, but when Allah decrees anything to happen, it will definitely happen according to His will. Ma shaa Allah. Despite the misery of being cooped up in this humble abode, Allah still gives us enough food, peaceful days and nights to do 'ibadah, strong Internet connection, and sanity, still. This whole experience should never be likened to being detained in a prison or even in a refugee camp as we get to still enjoy the luxuries of life albeit with minor limitations. Ramadhan in lockdown means we don't get to spend our taraweeh at the masjid, have sumptuous iftaar with friends and families, or even visit bazar Ramadhan (-__-"). But hey, Ramadhan doesn't stop when all these can't happen, does it? Because Ramadhan is all about growing closer and cl...

Hyde Park, London - December 2015 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. The thought of keeping this blog updated has always been floating in my head. However, at one point, it gets stuck in the middle of nowhere and ends up staying afloat instead. The fact that I am less busy if compared to the college days can't actually be made as a motivation to keep on writing here. Therefore, I apologise. Being away from home for 5 months (like seriously?!) while simultaneously learning to become a competent adult is simply a challenge in itself. Especially for a person who's still getting to know herself by expanding the comfort zone as she suddenly gets thrown into an alien place through and through. (Okay tak lah suddenly sangat - plus memang tak thrown pun - sebab persediaan 2 tahun kat Seremban tu untuk apa pulak kan haih) We have always had this idea that our goal would be to pursue our studies abroad come hail or high water. We (or rather I) actually mentally constructed an...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Fuh, fuh, fuh! *dusting off the blog virtually* Fast forward to (more than) a year since the last blog entry; I have successfully graduated from the University of Manchester after 3 years of doing BA in Linguistics; got back home i.e. Malaysia; will soon be an aunt - whom my nephews & nieces should call Didi instead of the expected boring Mak Ngah lelz; insyaAllah will go back to Manchester for MA degree this September. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah 💗 Life for me is indeed a roller coaster; a fun ride that renders more sincere smiles than ugly frowns surprisingly! Every episode is a highlight, a milestone that I never want to alter - except that kalau boleh nak buat more pahala and less dosa, semestinya. The last sunset before our flight LHR - KUL, August 2019 Being the forgetful an-nas, we often attribute the strength to wade through the challenges to our own humanly capabilities which are actually limited. It ain't as...

Picnic with Deramore 5.0 girls at Alexandra Park, 21 April 2018 Sebab tak lama lagi nak habis belajar kat sini dah untuk ijazah sarjana muda.  Sebab nanti mesti rindu Manchester. Sebab nanti mesti rindu musim bunga lagi. Sebab nanti tak tahu bila akan kembali. Sebab nak mengenang akan kegembiraan masa lalu juga nanti?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Oh well, as always. I am not your frequent visitor anymore ey? If you're a person, you must be mad at me for not saying hi for so long kan? Disappeared for months and suddenly emerge out of the blue to confide in you. So, I am sorry for not updating. But truthfully, I miss you; I miss pouring my heart out here. Because you're a mere blank white page which doesn't judge me at all. You're a loyal listener and definitely a faithful friend of mine. Sooo, to make up for my long hiatus, this particular entry is gonna be a whimsical one because I just want to update, update and update. And maybe write some thoughts about life, in general. - Final year at university has been quite errmm how do I say ehh..not so hectic - but it's just me not balancing my time well and keep on doing work at the very last minute meh... But alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal, winter exam just ended last Monday - for me. We're starting our FINAL SEMESTER next ...

14 September 2015 12 June 2016 The 9-month stay in Manchester is woven with so many bittersweet memories. I still remember how I was so excited being in this country for the first time. The English homes that we passed by along the the highway from Manchester Airport to Rusholme seemed very beautiful and fascinating. The autumn breeze had also made me shivered LOL. Now that I'm accustomed to British weather, 23 degree celcius made me sweat when I wore slightly thicker clothing. Summer + autumn day in Manchester Getting excited about spring during first year (May 2016) Unforgettable road trip with Deramore 4.0 during easter break (March - April 2017) The place I'll forever miss. Kaabah & me. Masjidil Haram, Makkatul Mukarramah (April 2017) Despite the unpredictable weather here, I really enjoy the change of seasons. It's an experience full of wonders seeing how yellow orangeish Whitworth Park changed to leafless white and later to cherry blosso...

Bismillahirahmanirrahim. I just watched a documentary about a meteorite hitting our atmosphere near a small town in Russia. It happened 4 years ago - February 2013 (before starting A-levels at KMS woots). It didn't land anywhere on Earth though. It exploded and nearly entered our planet but truly Allah saved - always saves - us, the Earth inhabitants. That humongous rock managed to leave us some 'souvenirs' including a 5-foot long rock that weighs 1,000 pound after causing some severe damages to buildings in 5-6 districts affected, near to where it was spotted. The documentary on Nat Geo then showed a discovery by NASA of SOOOOO MANY giant deadly asteroids that are currently surrounding our planet, lurking outside the atmosphere, waiting to strike us perhaps - or probably watching over us rather than imposing any danger, no? Only Allah knows how the impact of that mere 'letusan udara' caused by that single meteorite can kill thousands of lives without waiting for an...

...before the other two came along :p

Utusan daripada seorang kakak, sepertinya tahu bahawa si adik sedang perlukan ayat-ayat cinta Angin itu membawa khabar bahawa dia sedang dalam sedih. Luluh hati siang dan malam, tak mahu bercerita. Biarlah dipendam terus dalam dasar yang paling dalam. Biar tak terkenang lagi luka yang lama. Namun angin itu sepertinya tahu bahawa seperti ada yang tidak kena. Tapi ada sahaja yang dapat membaca. Dan dia sedar yang setiap kesusahan yang ditimpakan bertitik pada sesuatu yang dirinya memang tidak betah untuk terima. Lalu kesedihan bertimpa-timpa, merasakan titik kelemahannya itu memang disandarkan pada sesuatu yang lemah. Mengharapkan bahagia berada dalam ingatan manusia. Mengharapkan kehangatan dalam dingin yang sebenarnya. Mengharapkan nafas hidup daripada yang nanti akan mati juga. Padahal dia tahu, hatinya tidak wajar dibiar terpasak pada yang tidak sempurna. Padahal dia tahu, saudara yang di tanah sana lebih gagah menempuh ranjau dunia. Padahal dia tahu, kesedihan pic...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Cengeng. I am that. Berhati tisu, selembut tisu Kleenex. sharing our bittersweet childhood together, 1996 (maybe) Jadi, si abang seorang sudah selamat menjadi suami kepada isterinya, Kak A, alhamdulillah. Terasa baru semalam dibuli oleh si abang. Abang seorang itulah yang selalu temankan adiknya berehat bersama-sama ketika masih berhingus dulu. Si abang seorang yang memang Allah dah beri sifat keabangan kepadanya, tak mahu adik-adik susah lalu dia pun memilih untuk hidup sederhana saja. Tak pernah meminta-minta hingga ibu ayah terasa susah dengan dia. Dialah abang saya, abang saya yang seorang. Eid 2012 His graduation day, 2011 His way of saying goodbye at KLIA before my departure to Manchester, September 2015 Tapi hari ni, dia bukan sekadar seorang abang. Abang seorang sudah punya tanggungjawabnya, yang ingin dibawa bersama ke dalam syurga. Kerana kasihnya kepada Kak A pasti ing...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Kak Saadah went back to Malaysia for good last 19th January. Kak Aini might have just arrived at KLIA by the time we woke up this morning.  The sadness you will feel initially may be quite unbearable, to be honest. You will start condemning your loneliness and a feeling inside you will grow bigger; a dire wish to end your studies here in the UK as soon as possible so that you can go back home for good too, like the rest of the people you know. It is always lovely to see breath-taking sceneries on Facebook timeline and Instagram feeds of pictures that people living abroad may post to update their whereabouts. Yep, truly mesmerising, the photos and so-called cool lifestyle they have here. (I am talking about the UK people because I don't know what types of life do others have in other countries) I am amazed sometimes and I often wonder to myself -  "Why do they look so happy? Why don't I feel the same?" These questions arose based...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Funny how I can now refer to myself as a 22-year-old 'woman' since 2017 has finally arrived. Though I only turned 21 last December (but have always been that old since 26 Rejab every hijrah year - yawns), it is still fun to be 'feeling 22'. I don't know how to define the adjective fun for you here. Maybe it's fun in the sense that you enjoy having the freedom to decide things for yourself after weighing the pros and cons, consulting few people about that and finally being brave in simply jumping into making that decision a reality? Do all of these count as fun ? But it is not ALWAYS fun, if you know what I mean. In slowly becoming an adult, you can't escape from making mistakes along the way. And the fear of making more mistakes afterwards? That's even scarier. For example, being offered a certain kind of positions in some student bodies and you have to give your final say before the end of the month, while having fi...

Whitworth Park, October 2016 University of Manchester - Simon Building, October 2016 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. (I don't know why it is so hard for me to be committed to write on this blog. It's either because I'm a big bad procrastinator or simply lazy to write. Or I might be on a writer's block. Yeah, maybe that too.) When it is time to start uni, the most anticipated thing is the joy of seeing those yellow and orange leaves literally every where. Though the temperature will start dropping rapidly, the view is just nice that you can still spend your afternoon sitting at the park doing nothing. Just to make friends with these dying trees. Like how my dear friend described on her Instagram, they are undergoing a "beautiful death" (Mohd Fadzli, 2016). The coldness is sometimes unbearable that you wouldn't want to come out of the duvet. It'll be your best friend during autumn and winter every year. Seriously. That's the (petty) ...

Mount Aspiring, New Zealand -September 2016 Both of the owner of these two pairs of legs miss this place so much. And at the time, that man with the bigger feet was forced to feature those grey shoes in the photo. But he still loves me anyway. Because I'm his sister. This time around, I am missing him. This place too. Always

Having this feeling you thought you could never enjoy. After a year of feeling that you're alone, now that your life is full again, ain't that a gift? A gift from God who wants you to enjoy every bit of your time before the death arrives. Live good, will you? Make the most out of the blessings you receive and spread the love you want others to have. You can't expect to always feel grand (because this might just be because of latté you're drinking yknow?), you'll surely stumble. But just know that Allah is there to lift you up again. Biiznillah! Do this all for Him :)

A big 'welcome' sign at Taman MMU, 18 September 2016 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. It has never occured to me that the three-month break would go by so fast and I'll be coming back to this country with a happy feeling I seldom felt before. Alhamdulillah for this new spirit! Summer has been wonderful but I wish I could do more for my family. To spend more time with them, to cook for them (though I know my cooking skill is not so impressive mehhh), to be such a good kakak and daughter.  We always feel that we didn't do well enough to have that real sense of satisfaction, don't we? And when we are at one place we'll be one individual and some other times we'll suddenly be another stranger who are totally different than the real self. Is this considered a personality disorder too? I hope not. Because I'd like to start anew. To learn from the mistakes I used to make so that I'll be able to cherish my present for a brighter future. ...

Pertama kali di Renold Building. Kali terakhir untuk peperiksaan tahun pertama. Boleh mula countdown balik Malaysia sudah. 8 Jun 2016 - 3 Ramadhan 1437H

So that you can recall; Ramadhan 1437H in the UK was during summer 2016. So that you will remember there was one time that you witnessed the sky starting to get brighter at 4 in the morning. So that you know when one part of the globe is shrouded in darkness, its other side has only just begun to grow stronger. May He allow us to enjoy Ramadhan this year with barakah and rahmah. May He keep us grounded even when Ramadhan has left. [Deramore Street, Manchester] [June 5th, 2016 - 29 Shaaban 1437H]